Countdown to Halloween
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October 31st creeps closer. Days, hours, minutes ticking away.
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Halloween
October 31, 2026
Why Track Halloween
Thirty-seven years old and I still lose my mind when September ends. Something about October just hits different β the air smells like dead leaves and artificial cinnamon, Target puts out those 12-foot skeletons (my neighbor bought three last year, unhinged behavior), and suddenly it's socially acceptable to eat candy corn at 9am.
Made this timer after Halloween 2023 when I realized at 6:47pm on October 30th that I had zero candy. Drove to three different stores. All out except for those mystery Tootsie Roll flavors and circus peanuts. Never again.
When To Actually Do Halloween Stuff
My system evolved from six years of screwing up timing. Spirit Halloween opens in August but going that early feels psychotic (respect to those who do though).
September
Ghost town at Party City. You'll have the aisles to yourself and all the good sizes haven't been picked through yet.
- β’Order your costume online before Amazon jacks up prices and everything goes "backordered til November"
- β’Hit up HomeGoods for decorations when selection is peak and nobody's fighting you for the last animated witch
- β’Make a list of horror movies you actually want to watch instead of scrolling Netflix for 40 minutes every night
October
Chaos month. Everyone suddenly remembers Halloween exists.
- β’Oct 1: Decorate immediately or procrastinate til the 28th and hate yourself
- β’Oct 15ish: Get pumpkins but don't carve yet unless you like mold
- β’Oct 27-29: Carving window. Any earlier = rot. Any later = panic
- β’Oct 30: Candy run. Two bags minimum unless your neighborhood is dead
Costume Tiers By How Much You Care
Zero Energy Mode
All black clothes plus cat ears from CVS ($4.99). Bonus points if you already own the black. Or just wear normal clothes and tell people you're dressed as "someone who forgot it was Halloween." Commit to the bit.
Reasonable Adult
Vampire works every single year β fake blood, slicked hair, you're done. Wednesday Addams if you have braids and a black dress. Bob Ross needs a wig and palette (literal or cardboard). Group costumes sound hard but just pick a TV show everyone knows.
Unhinged Dedication
Building armor from EVA foam. Wiring LED strips into your jacket. Making prosthetics that take 90 minutes to apply. September isn't early enough β you started planning in July. Respect.
Kids costumes
Whatever character obsession they're currently in. Spider-Man works for boys age 3-12 apparently. Elsa phase lasted three Halloweens at my house (exhausting). Test if they can pee in the costume before you leave the house or you'll be dealing with a bathroom emergency at a stranger's door.
Pumpkin Carving (Mistakes I Made So You Don't Have To)
Destroyed four pumpkins in 2019 alone. Learned the hard way what not to do.
Your pumpkin looks like it died a week ago
Carved October 15th. Left it on the porch. Watched it collapse into itself by the 23rd.
Wait til the last minute (literally)
October 27-29 is your window. Earlier than that and you're asking for mold. Petroleum jelly on the cut edges helps but honestly just carve it late and skip the hassle. Keep it in your garage when you're not showing it off.
The teeth broke off
Used my kitchen knife. Too thick. Slipped twice. Almost took my thumb with it.
Get the $5 carving kit
Those little saws they sell next to the pumpkins at Walmart? Buy them. They're flimsy but way more precise than your chef knife. Sketch your design with a Sharpie first (or dry erase if you're fancy and want to redo it). Start simple β circles are harder than you think.
Can barely see the glow
Tea light candle died after 20 minutes. Also nearly set my pumpkin on fire.
Battery powered = smarter
LED tea lights last all night and you won't burn your house down. Dollar Tree sells them. Get three per pumpkin for better brightness β one in the center looks weak. String lights work too if you wanna get weird with it.
Don't Let Your Kid Become a Statistic
Hate being the paranoid parent but last year some kid in a black Ninja costume almost got hit by a Subaru on Maple Street because nobody could see him. Driver was going slow but still. Now I'm that person who makes everyone wear reflective stuff.
Glow sticks. Cheap, work for hours, clip onto costumes. Cars can actually see your kid instead of playing pedestrian roulette at dusk. Get the thick ones from Target β dollar store ones break immediately and leak that weird chemical goo everywhere.
Actual flashlights not phone lights that die after fifteen minutes. Give each kid their own β prevents fights and they can see where they're walking instead of tripping over every crack in the sidewalk.
Stay on streets with porch lights. Yeah the spooky dark alley seems fun and atmospheric but you know what's not fun? Stepping in something gross or rolling your ankle on uneven pavement you couldn't see.
Check their candy haul before they eat anything β not worried about razor blades (never actually happened) but my kid has a peanut allergy and unwrapped homemade stuff is always suspicious anyway.
Older kids going solo? Pick a meetup spot and time. No negotiations. Minimum two per group (buddy system works). Phones charged. Screenshot the route and text it to them.
Random Halloween Trivia That'll Win You Bar Bets
Celts invented Halloween (kinda)
Samhain was their end-of-harvest festival two thousand years ago in Ireland. Thought the boundary between living and dead got thin on October 31st so ghosts could wander around. Wore animal skins to confuse spirits. Christians later slapped All Saints Day on November 1st and the whole thing merged into what we do now.
Americans spend absurd amounts
Ten billion dollars every October. Six hundred million pounds of candy (most of it eaten by parents after kids go to bed). Witch costumes dominate year after year but Spider-Man and Disney princesses never really go away. Full moon landing on Halloween happens once every nineteen years β next one is 2039.
Jack-o'-lanterns used to be turnips
Irish legend about Stingy Jack who conned the Devil multiple times and got banned from both Heaven and Hell. Devil gave him a burning coal to light his way through eternal darkness. Jack carved out a turnip to hold it. Irish immigrants brought the tradition to America but turnips suck to carve so they switched to pumpkins.
Candy Strategy (More Complicated Than You Think)
Ran out at 6:52pm in 2022. Had to turn off the porch light and hide in my living room while kids kept ringing the doorbell. Felt like a monster. Now I overprepare to an irrational degree.
Do actual math
My street gets maybe seventy kids. Some houses see two hundred (insane). Figure out your traffic last year or ask a neighbor who's lived there forever. Two pieces per kid minimum unless you're cheap. So seventy kids = 140 pieces but then teenagers show up in groups of six with pillowcases so buy 200 to be safe. Leftover candy isn't a problem β it's breakfast.
Chocolate or die
Kids want Reese's. They want Snickers. Kit Kat works. Twix never fails. Those weird peanut butter taffy things in orange wrappers? Instant disappointment. Tootsie Rolls get thrown away. Candy corn is polarizing (I like it but kids hate it). Skittles and Starburst work if you need non-chocolate options. Never buy the mixed bag with Smarties and Dum Dums β that's the stuff that sits in the bowl til Thanksgiving.
Never trust the honor system
Leaving a bowl outside with a "take one" sign? First group of teenagers takes the whole thing. Seen it three times. If you can't be home just turn your lights off β saves you money and nobody gets false hope. Or leave a half-filled bowl and accept it'll be gone in ten minutes. Some people do a candy chute from their second floor window which is hilarious and effective.